Wednesday, November 21, 2007

emotionally attached

One fine day I asked the doctor (I used to go this clinic because of its friendly lady doctor each time not feeling well) how she feels about being one. Her reply came without hesitation: "It's intellectually stimulating, but you deal with real issues – sick & dying ppl. And you're emotionally attached to them, and it's not easy." She then added, "we have to be emotionally attached to our patients to truly give good care as a doctor."

I found this level of commitment very heartening. Although we might think that some emotions seem irrational, it is entirely rational to have emotions.

How much are emotions worth? Can they be bought? It seems unlikely - especially if those emotions are genuine. Something you can't buy with money yet you would easily pay for. I thk we've just got to be lucky in life to find genuine experiences.

I am wondering why some people can ignore this feeling just like that. They seem able to close their eyes, back stabbing, pretending they know nothing. As long as in the eyes of the boss they are superb!! Well I cld sense this here...

Thursday, November 1, 2007


this time i will write about my boredom. this feeling just not fade away even after i changed work place or the house/place where i live or even the job to support my life. i keep on thinking by switching these will clear myself from feeling bored. i had also involved with the so called out door activities (well it is not really me in the beginning. but now i m ok with that. i used to be labelled as puteri lilin by my friends in the dormitory back in schooling years) like jogging (eventhough once a while), trekking the jungle in taman negara, learned how to swim and snorkling, i climbed and explored few hills, caves in sarawak and pahang but yet the joy is only for a short period of time. the feeling's always coming back.

last night i came to understand of why that feeling arouse. it's because my mind is bored, it is about my state of mind which always thirst for something stimulating. actually it was nothing to do with boring place, boring thing, boring people or what so ever! it is not 100% caused by external factors, but internally. am i going to search in my entire life for something stimulating more and more for just not to feeling bored?

i realized that i am becoming less sensitive and ignorance. my attention span is too short. once done (sometimes not even finish) i start looking for something else. now what i need to do is to learn on how to relax and enjoy the moment passes. be it in the situation, or what i am doing throughout my everyday life. from now on i need to sit back and relax watching the sun rises or may be the birds fly. i think i had enough of (too much i guess) fast kind of things in my life. i listen to fast music, i eat fast, i walk fast, i talk fast. it's just like time is pushing and is after me at all the times. not to say that i have to stop all that but once in a while i should opt for something relaxing and easy.

yes, it's all about balanced life!